Tuesday, May 8, 2007

Saturday, April 7, 2007

tanganyika / zanzibar

hi all, i am in tanzania now. africa is a depressing place. dar es salaam is a fucking shithole. everything is expensive by singaporean standards. pringles is 5 USD for example. which makes you wonder what the locals can afford to buy. heh. but anyway today we bought bread and fed it to the fish while snorkelling. the locals prob thought we were insane. talk about wasting food in africa. will be in zanzibar for the easter weekend, then returning to dar es salaam and school. (muhimbili university) posted to the medical ward, the hiv rates there are sky high. not to sound cruel, but i seriously think the best way to solve this problem is to let this whole generation of hiv positive people die out, and direct the resources saved to preventing transmission, especially vertical transmission. (mother to kid at birth) ok gtg now, hope i don't get hiv here.

jesse please plan for the trip i will email you soon when i get the internet again

Friday, March 23, 2007

a love letter...

Dearest Zihui,

How have you been? Been a long time since we last met up. In fact, it's been so long I can't remember the last time I met you. Or the first time. Were they in fact the same time? Probably.

I have been thinking of you a lot lately. What triggered off the deluge of bittersweet memories was when I chanced upon your phone number in my phone book. It was such a shock, I blurted out "WHAT THE FUCK?" on a crowded bus. Yes, that is how much you have hurt me. I will never forget you, I think.

When I look back, I really wonder what happened between us. So many, many questions that I'll never have the answers to. Did I meet you in a club? Did we make out? Don't think we fucked. Were you a good kisser? Did you think I kissed well? What is your bra size? And more importantly, do you have any significant medical history that I should know about? Because I truly care for you.

I wish you could put me out of my misery I pine for you so. If one day you are willing to finally tell me the truth about everything, know that I will always be waiting. And I'm sure you know where to find me, right? Right. Take care hunny bunny.

Yours Sincerely,

Clariepoo








*DISCLAIMER : ALL CHARACTERS FEATURED IN THIS POST ARE STRICTLY FICTIONAL AND THE PRODUCT OF A SICK, TWISTED AND MARGINALLY BORED MIND. PLEASE DO NOT COME AND FIND ME. DO NOT EXPEL ME FROM SCHOOL.

Monday, March 19, 2007

I HATE PATHO

i hate patho, so much to study, JUST STUDY EVERYTHING.

anyway, mud is fun.

and this is funny.

x2345 says :
no leh , got a lot treat virginity v special wan
x2345 says :
but end up get fucked by me la , no diff

interesting discussion on the modern view of virginity.

Tuesday, February 20, 2007

Monday, February 19, 2007

beer and cigarettes

2 of the biggest comforts in my life. also the reason why i find it hard to stop smoking completely. it's an emotional crutch. my cigs have been with me through the toughest days. if you think i can't quit cos the withdrawal symptoms get to me, well i hardly get any withdrawal and you're an idiot who sterotypes people.

so it's chinese new year again, it's really quite a joyous occasion. i think i'm starting to appreciate how it can be such an anticipated event. you get to meet people that you see once a year, but everyone's so nice and friendly, it's quite amazing. it's probably the only day that kids are allowed to drink alcohol, just for the fun of it. and the hongbaos are great. i like a good excuse for a party.

happy cny to those of you not in singapore! i know you miss your family but just know that on average, you're probably having a better time the other 51 weeks of the year.

sorry rumin, i didn't know it'd be that bad, you can skewer my ass.

friday night was fucking cool. got put in a totally unnecessary situation which didn't really involve me. thank you thank you. and i apologise to certain persons involved. learnt the power of the drink though, 1 good thing out of this? perhaps.

weilan has been up to little things which make me distrust her alot and make me doubt whether all that time we spent together meant anything. it's really strange, but the most important thing after you break up is whether that time you spent really meant anything. if it didn't, haha well suck it? i'll try to believe and i probably deserve it. just glad i took the correct route, albeit the harder one.

i started this post talking about 2 of the greatest comforts of my life. would also like to take this opportunity to thank the 3rd, which are my friends. thank you for being there these years gone by, especially when my family weren't there. hopefully there'll be many more years to come before you don't friend me anymore. happy cny!

Thursday, February 15, 2007

discussions

yesterday was not a good day. had pediatrics clinical exam. messed up the order of my differential diagnoses. was really pissed off, mainly because the examiner said she was "worried about patients' safety" in my hands. quite insulting especially because i DID think of the possibility of a surgical abdomen but i threw out viral gastritis anyway as my primary diagnosis because of how the patient reported his history. don't think it was that wrong, especially since he was lying there so peacefully and claimed not to have had painkillers or surgery since being admitted. BUT APPARENTLY HE WAS ON MORPHINE. apparently kids don't know shit, even 13 year old ones. yeah really insulting cos i thought of surgical abdomen and i got the management and all that correct. just really difficult when you have a really shy boy telling you a strange, atypical history that doesn't really fit here nor there, and you have examiners who are on one track and you are desperately trying to second guess them and give them the answers they want to amazingly open questions. eg. what blood tests would you give if this boy needed a transfusion? group and cross match. ok. what else? HUH WHAT ELSE? if he needs a transfusion he needs a transfusion what. anyway they were looking for hemoglobin levels. WHICH REALLY DOES NOT HELP the fucking management in any way. it's in fucking g/dL, tells you concentration, and not blood volume, which is the important thing in blood loss right??? which is what i told them and they said GOOD. then why the fuck you keep poking me to make me say full blood count? you told me the kid was tachycardic, hypotensive, thready pulse, pale. QUITE FREAKING OBVIOUS RIGHT. aiyah. damn annoyed la. feel so misunderstood. so hard to get them to understand your thought process when all they're interested in is their own. have to keep guessing. and one of them even said she was worried if i would be a safe doctor. I DID THINK OF SURGICAL ABDOMEN KNN JUST THAT YOU NEVER GIVE ME CHANCE TO EXPLAIN MY DIAGNOSIS AND GIVE DIFFERENTIALS RIGHT. anyway i hope i pass. got the management part pretty much correct though. knnccb. insulted. but i guess i must learn to control the examiners more in future. make them think what i want them to think. must learn must learn.

anyway later that night went to this jazz bar at regent hotel, and what ensued was this REALLY prolonged discussion about creation vs evolution. i'm too lazy to write out everything here, but anyway cuong(aussie exchange student) was talking about theory of irreducible complexity, how that makes macroevolution so freaking unlikely it's impossible. and that evolutionists really have no concrete proof. greg(singapore med student) was basically saying that there is SOME evidence SUGGESTING evolutionary theory is correct, and that lack of evidence doesn't disprove a theory. ya anyway they went on and on but come on, we all just talking theory here right. you're never going to be able to win. maybe what we're thinking is all wrong? maybe our idea of logic is bullshit? maybe what we perceive is not what really is? how do we know our minds are not lying to us? when we see an apple, is it really an apple? maybe our mind tricks us into thinking that some pears look like apples. there's just too much we don't know la. and everything is theory. but anyway one interesting point that was made is that science is so incomplete and flawed, it's amazing how many people take it for gospel truth. alot of things that are done in medicine actually don't have very robust evidence supporting them, maybe just based on years of experience or some studies that were done within the limits of our current knowledge or even our ability as humans to comprehend how the universe works. take the law of thermodynamics. it's a misnomer. it's a theory, not a law. but the guy who coined it was probably pretty clever. he got to create a natural law. no body can really prove or disprove it. hence, my new law is that i am greater than you. suck it.

haha and cuong is quite funny. he was saying that the US have got it all wrong. they should deal with terrorism by threatening to kill terrorists families. 3 generations up and down. you know, like in those period dramas where the emperor orders your entire clan to be executed. but seriously, he has a point. it would work wonders as a deterrent. "you dare bomb my subway station, i'm going to go down there, to the little shithole you call home, and nuke your fucking village off the map. wanna try me?" that would really work. assymetric warfare no more. apparently that's what the viet cong did in vietnam after the vietnam war to keep the peace. cuong is from vietnam, and he has alot of stories about crazy vietnamese with guns and grenades, and also about his previous involvement in the vietnamese triad and drugs and shit in perth. some of his stories sound so out of the world though, hard to believe they're real. interesting though.